She was a bit of a goer – ooh er, know what I mean. Except I shagged Maud Bailey, the only academic specialising on her work, at a Lacanian conference on Feminist Semiotics in Victorian Poetry. It can only have been the little-known poet, Christabel La Motte. 'It seems that Ash may have met a woman at one of Crabb's salons. 'Um, I was wondering if you could give me a hand,' enquired Roland. Roland knew it was incumbent on him to inform the professor of his find, yet he chose to keep it to himself, electing instead to seek out the more superficial help of Fergus Wolf, the blond departmental Love God.

'That would certainly explain why no one ever mentions you have the same name as Rowan Atkinson's character in the television comedy series,' Roland answered. 'It is perhaps unfortunate that all of us present day characters should have been made into two-dimensional academic stereotypes,' said Professor Blackadder as Roland entered his office. Working for a solicitor is most satisfactorily dreary.' To have called them lovers would have spoken of a depth of emotion not to be found in this book. 'Did you have another boring day?' inquired the nondescript Val of her equally nondescript partner. He placed the letters in his jacket pocket and went home. It cannot be Miss Byatt to whom Ash addressed this correspondence, for though the sentiments may fit, post-modernism was not a trait associated with Byatt and other Victorians.

Novel possession by as byatt